Can I just ask you one question?

This is how it happened.

"Can I just ask you one question?"

That's all she said to me. It was enough of a distraction to make me slow down. (No No No NO…! Keep walking!!)

The trolley full of shopping stopped and lost its forward momentum… (Arrgh…bloody hell…here she comes! No eye contact!!)

I looked at her. (STEE YU PID ...I said "no eye contact"!!)

"Would YOU like to look 10 years younger?" She said.

"Who wouldn't?" I answered … (Dammit, don't engage her! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!)

She takes my hand and starts to rub some Green slimy gritty stuff onto the back of it. (WTF!!…Unwanted Physical contact AND an unknown gooey substance! PULL AWAY! If she doesn't let go, PUNCH HER!!)

Slowly…almost mesmerizingly, she rubs the grit in small relaxing little circles…. "This 100% natural product is formulated from seaweed, sea salt and emu oil and it is 100% Australian owned and manufactured"…. (Freaking heck…she's appealing to your Aussie-ness…don't listen to her voice, she'll hypnotize you!)

"With twice daily applications, here, here and here…" …her soft hand comes up and touches my face around my eyes, nose and mouth….I can't help but look at her flawless ,19 year old, make-up –less face. I gaze into her shining blue eyes… (No….don't look directly into her eyes! NOT HER EYES!!!!)

"This cleanser, coupled with our Echidna sweat based moisturizer, is only $79.99 for the 30g jar…and with that you get the Kangaroo Scrotum buffer pad FREE!"… (You don't NEED a buffer pad….Just because it's FREE doesn't make it GOOD….Back away NOW….NOOOO! NOOOOO! Don't get out your Credit card…..Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!")

This is what SHOULD have happened.

"Can I just ask you one question?"

"Yes you can…and Honey, you just wasted that one question right then…! Bye-bye now!